I leave in a week.
I'd be lying if I didn't say, I'm freaking out.
My bags are packed, and thankfully they are only 30lbs each right now although there's still more to add.
I'm not taking my guitar even though I bought it to bring. It'll cost more than I paid for it to bring with me, and I can't even play!
A year, yes, is a long time. But what about longer than a year with no coming home?
What about all the babies that are going to be born, and the kids that are going to grow up?
I won't get to meet them til they're talking, or walking, or in school!
And the weddings! Oh baby!
So many people are getting married in 2013 and I'm going to miss them all!
I'm just really not good with change.
And I have a mad case of FOMO [fear of missing out] right now.
Maybe what's "scariest" about all this is that this is such an adult move right now.
Even though I'm going back[wards] to college, this is really my first real claim at being a grown up.
This is life now. Before was mandatory - elementary school, high school, university.
But I'm choosing this, and I'm chancing this. And this, is mine.
My "big girl" decision, I guess you could say.
And it's good, but boy is it scary.
[Why did I have to choose somewhere so far away haha!?]
It's funny how you can imagine yourself somewhere for so long.
Like when I think of going back to Sydney, I just imagine myself like in the pictures above.
But the struggle really is just getting there.
All the tearful drives into town. And all those that will be shed as I huge my adorable parents for the last time at the airport.
And then figuring out what food I like there.
And what will be my Tim Hortons replacement!
[This is what I worry about!]
And then furnishing an apartment.
Finding a job.
Diving in head first.
Connecting with people and leaders.
Going to class and not being afraid to stretch myself, or let myself be stretched.
It's this last week that feels the hardest.
Just get me on that plane, the build up is becoming too much!
What I learned last time, when I only visited the country for 3 weeks, yet found myself so homesick, was that,
no matter where I am or what I'm doing, my parents love me.
That love propels me forward.
They are there and they support me.
And when that doesn't seem enough,
His Love is.
I just need to rest there a bit more when I'm freaking out and life is a whirlwind.
His love is enough.
Regardless of location, my own awkwardness, or financial situation.
His love is enough.